One day Bush was out jogging and accidentally fell from a bridge into a very cold river. Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet president out of the river. After cleaning up he said, “Boys, you saved the President...

A man goes into a little neighborhood pub, and when he sits down, he notices a beautiful woman sitting at the other end of the bar. He waves to her, and much to his surprise, she winks back at him. It doesn’t take long before he is on the stool next to her. They talk for about fifteen minutes...

According to “The Australian,” an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight.The captain decided to make an emergency landing, and switched on the seat belt sign.The vibration stopped immediately.A passenger emerged from a lavatory and explained that he had been jogging in...

At the end of the workday, one cowboy tells another, “That new bull nearly did me in today, partner.”“Oh yeah, what happened?”“I was putting out the feed, when the sucker came charging at me like a locomotive from hell. He damn near got me!”“So, how’d...

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot is...

How to Piss Off A Woman * Tie her to the bed, describe all the erotic things you plan to do. Then go bowling. * Ask her how she prepared a meal. If she wants to know why you want to know, say “So I don’t make the same mistakes.” * Tell her YOU have a headache, but you’re willing...

Doctor’s son: Well, dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines of success. Doctor : Always, write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly.

Wives are funny creatures.They don’t have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.

A woman visited a plastic surgeon who told her about a new procedure called ‘The Knob,’ where a small knob is placed at the top of the woman’s head and could be turned to tighten up her skin and produce the effect of a brand new face-lift. Of course, the woman wanted ‘The Knob.’...

Sam and John were out cutting wood, and John cut his arm off. Sam wrapped the arm in a plastic bag and took it and John to a surgeon. The surgeon said, “You’re in luck! I’m an expert at reattaching limbs! Come back in four hours.” So Sam came back in four hours and the surgeon...