One day the husband comes home to his wife and she says to him, “Honey, honey, I need twenty dollars I have to go out and buy some meat.”“Twenty dollars!… are you crazy? Come upstairs to the bathroom and let me show you something.”They run up to the bathroom and he stands in front of the...

Joe and Bob were two very different people and had lived in the same valley for several years. Despite their differences, their relationship was one of amiable cooperation. One day, to reward them for their spirit of coexistence, God decided to pay a visit and reward them for their spirit of brotherly...

A cucumber and a pickle are having a conversation and the pickle says to the cucumber, “You know my life really sucks. Whenever I get big, fat and juicy, they sprinkle seasonings over me and stick me in a jar.” So the cucumber says. “Yeah, you think that’s bad, whenever I get...

A man and a woman were waiting in line at the hospital donation center.Man: ‘What are you doing here today?’Woman: ‘Oh, I’m here to donate some blood. They’re going to give me 200 bucks for it.’Man: ‘Hmm, that’s interesting. I’m here to donate sperm,...

An American businessman is in Japan. The Japanese businessmen take him out, get him drunk, and send him upstairs with a hooker. As he’s screwing her, she starts screaming, “Nashagai ana! Nashagai ana!” He’s going, “Yeah, baby, take it all…” He keeps pumping,...

This guy goes into a doctors and says, “Doctor, doctor you’ve gotta help me. I just can’t stop having sex!”“Well how often do you have it?” the doctor asks.“Well, twice a day I have sex with my wife, TWICE a day,” he answers back.“That’s not...

Stuart comes home to find his wife, Sadie, crying. “I found out from Mrs. Smith that you’ve been having an affair with that chippie secretary in your office. Why would you do that to me? Haven’t I always been the good wife? I’ve cooked for you, raised your children, and I’ve always been by...

An old couple who hadn’t celebrated Halloween in a long time decided to dress up and go out.The old woman went into her bedroom, stripped naked and tied a lemon between her legs.When she came out, the old man cried, ‘You can’t go out like that!”She said, “I can go anyway...

A bartender was getting ready to close for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun. He yells to the bartender, “This is a stick-up! Put all your dough in this bag!” The scared bartender pleads, “Don’t shoot, please! I’ll do as you say!” The...

A man goes into a little neighborhood pub, and when he sits down, he notices a beautiful woman sitting at the other end of the bar. He waves to her, and much to his surprise, she winks back at him. It doesn’t take long before he is on the stool next to her. They talk for about fifteen minutes...