Santa and Banta went into a cafeteria and ordered two drinks.Then they produced snacks from their shopping bags and started to eat.The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own food in here!”Santa and Banta looked at each other, shrugged...

Two buddies are fishing, but they haven’t caught anything all day. Then, another fisherman walks by with a huge load of fish.They ask him, “Excuse me, but where did you get all those fish?”The other fisherman replies, “If you just go down the stream until the water isn’t...

Jill was a knockout but alas, she also was virtually brainless.Fortunately, this was no drawback as far as John’s plans for the evening were concerned. He was delighted when she agreed to come up to his apartment for a nightcap.As he prepared the drinks, full of anticipation, Jill explored the...

There were these three brothers that were very close to each other. The brothers always went to a local bar on every Friday at 5:30 on the dot. When the brothers got married they all got married to their wifes to be on the same day and at the same place. When the brothers moved away from each other to...

During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I’d like to buy the house a round of drinks." The bartender said, "That’s fine, but we’re in the middle of the Depression, so I’ll need...

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It’s been flickering for weeks now." He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead? I don’t...

Three Vampires walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender comes over and ask them what they want to drink 1st Vampire: Give me a shot of blood 2nd Vampire: I want a double shot 3rd Vampire: All I want is a cup of hot water So the bartender goes and gets the drinks and comes back. He hands them the drinks,...