Mr.Sharma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: “I have great news: I’m a month overdue. I think we’re going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can’t tell anybody.”The next day, Mrs.Sharma receives...

A blonde named Barbara appeared on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. … Regis: “Barbara, you’ve done very well so far, $500,000 and one lifeline left–phone a friend. The next question will give you the first ever million dollars if you get it right…. but if you get it wrong...

I was caring for an elderly lady, and one day I walked into her room and she commented, “Oh God, here is my sexy, good-looking male nurse.” I would have been flattered by her comment if not for the sign above her bed that read, “Patient is legally blind.”

A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow’s absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the Rabbi went to see him.He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, “How come after all these years we don’t...

Little Ricky was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying week in kindergarten.His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday. It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful. His grandmother remarked, “Doesn’t it look like an artist...

Mary and Sue hadn’t seen each other for years. When they finally sat down to lunch, Mary was stunned at how trim and healthy Sue looked.“My God,” she said, “What do you do to stay so fit?”“Well,” answered Sue, “I’ve found that nothing keeps me trimmer...

A Christian family, comprising mom, dad and daughter were sitting around the dinner table with the reverend of their church as their honored guest. The mom told her daughter to start off the prayer so they can start eating dinner already.The daughter hesitated, “But Mom!” After her mom...

A Jewish girl came home one day and said, “Mom, I got married.”Her mother said, “Oh, that’s great.”The girl said, “But, Mom, he’s an Arab.”Her mother said, “Oy, that’s not so great.”The girl said, “But he’s an Arab sheik....

A boy takes his girlfriend home after going out together. When they reach the front door, he leans against the wall with one hand and says, "Sweetie, why don’t you give me a blowjob?" "What? You’re crazy!" "Don’t worry, it will be quick, no problem." "No!!...

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want,...