One day two rednecks decided to get married. After the wedding they left for their honeymoon. While driving down the road, the new bride sees two cows having sex.The new bride asks, “What are they doing honey?” The husband answers, “They’re roping!” She replies, “Oh,...

Husband: I won’t be able to sleep afterwards.Wife: I can’t sleep without it.Husband: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?Wife: Because I’m Hot.Husband: You get hot at the darnest times.Wife: If you love me I wouldn’t have to beg you.Husband: If you...

Gwen was one of those UGLY women, so ugly it hurts. She never had a boyfriend, so she went to a psychic for help.Honey, said the psychic, you will not have luck in love in this life. But after death, you will be a much desired woman and all men will fall at your feet.Gwen left very happy and excited....

“It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,” Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, “Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?”“Probably that I married you for your money,” she replied.

When his wife’s snoring woke him for the third straight night, Harry went to the bathroom medicine cabinet, got some aspirin and popped two tablets into her gaping mouth.“Awk, glub!” choked his startled wife. “What the…”“It’s okay, honey. I gave you...

Harry went into a nightclub and saw a gorgeous honey sitting by herself at the bar, so he asked her to dance.She agreed and they took to the dance floor for a slow one. While they were cheek to cheek, Harry said, “You really smell terrific. What’s that you have on?”The flattered girl...

"How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?" "Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too" "Just leave all the lights on … it makes the house look more cheery" "Let me smell that shirt — Yeah, it’s good for another week" "Go...

A man and a woman had been dating for about a year, and their relationship was getting serious. The man proposed marriage, and she accepted. However, she told him that she wanted him to know that her chest was just like a baby’s. He said that he loved her and that her measurements didn’t...

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It’s been flickering for weeks now." He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead? I don’t...

To celebrate their 7th anniversary, a man and his wife spend the weekend at an exclusive golf resort. He is a pretty good golfer, but she only just started. When they head down to the golf course after a lavish lunch and a bottle of champagne, they notice a beautiful mansion a couple of hundred yards...