Last night as I headed to the cash register at Gelson’s, a middle-aged blond woman was in a tirade at the check-out stand. “She’s the Devil,” she rasped to a thin fey man next to her in line. I stopped and asked her dead-pan, “Are you kibitzing about Sarah Palin?” “Yes,” she shouted...

Wives are funny creatures.They don’t have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.

Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. “How do you account for this?” he asked the brothers. “It’s hereditary, sir,” the...

A crop-duster was asked by a friend how his day had gone. “It was the worst day of my life,” replied the man. “This morning I was up in my plane dusting a field when I nicked a power line and damaged the wing of the plane. When I got back to the office, my boss chewed me out. Then...

Mr. Clemens was vacationing on a riverboat casino on the Mississippi with his wife.By the second day, they were already fighting.“Your dresses are too tight,” he screamed. “You look like a tramp!”“Oh,” she replied, “You want to see me in something long and...

A Catholic Priest, an Indian Doctor, a rich Chinese Businessman and an Aussie were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.The Aussie fumed, “What’s with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!”The Indian Doctor chimed in,...

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, there will be a change in vocabulary while addressing men & women. HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1 She is not a “BABE” or a “CHICK” - She is a “BREASTED AMERICAN.” 2. She...

A stolen credit card A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did. Related Posts:funny jokes, funny drinking jokes - drinking buddiesAtheist cartoon jokes, Atheist cartoons, Atheist jokes, Funny Atheist cartoons jokesWife...