What Moms Really Want for Mother’s Day

For my teenager to announce "Hey, Mom! I got a full scholarship and a job all in the same day!"

Five pounds of chocolate that won’t add twenty

To have my 14 year-old daughter answer a question without rolling her eyes in that "Why is this person my mother?" way.

A grocery store that doesn’t have candy/gum/cheap toys displayed at the checkout line.

To be able to step on a plane with my toddlers and NOT have someone moan, "Oh no! Why me…!"

Mothers come in all shapes and sizes. For example, an Italian Mother might chastise her offspring for not eating by saying, "Eat your dinner, or I’ll kill you." A Jewish Mother on the other hand would say, "Eat your dinner, or I’ll kill myself."

If evolution really works, how come Mothers only have two hands ?

Personally, I think today’s kids ought to do something really special for their Mothers on Mother’s Day — like move out !